


Get Well Soon

by SketchySpirit, ZombieJesus



Series: ZJ Deathnotetober 2020 [7]
Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: A little twisted, Angst, Art collaboration, Crossdressing, Hate Sex, Humor, Jealousy, L in lingerie, Light hopes that doesn't awaken anything, Love/Hate, M/M, NSFW Art, Possessive Behavior, Smut, also some darkness, but the truth is something more tender, happy ending by my standards, lawlight, spoiler it does, vulnerability is hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:07:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27178994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SketchySpirit/pseuds/SketchySpirit, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZombieJesus/pseuds/ZombieJesus
Summary: Light buys Misa a birthday present which L jealously intercepts. Possessiveness and misunderstandings threaten to rock the precarious agreement between Light and L, where each has made dangerous sacrifices to stay together after the end of the Kira case. Beautifully illustrated by Sketchyspirit!
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Series: ZJ Deathnotetober 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1955044
Comments: 28
Kudos: 175





	Get Well Soon

**Author's Note:**

> O rose thou art sick.  
> The invisible worm,  
> That flies in the night  
> In the howling storm: 
> 
> Has found out thy bed  
> Of crimson joy:  
> And his dark secret love  
> Does thy life destroy.
> 
> \- The Sick Rose by William Blake

Light knew something was wrong as soon as he stepped into his apartment. 

Technically it wasn’t _his_ apartment but L’s--- a secret, out-of-the-way location used for their ill-advised and very confidential trysts. L must have spent a small fortune converting the abandoned warehouse into a comfortable loft, and one of the detective’s shadowy minions kept it well-stocked with cake and coffee (and lube). 

L was extremely generous in how he enticed Light to come there. Light need only scribble a request on the notepad sitting atop the polished granite counter and it would appear the next time L sent a car for him. Clothes, college textbooks, the latest gadget, even money-- and a fresh page would be turned on the notepad awaiting Light’s next demand.

Since this whole arrangement had begun (about 8 months ago), Light had wondered if L paid any attention to the requests or not. Last week he’d gotten curious and written, ‘I want you to take this ridiculous ankle monitor off of me. I’m not absconding, asshole.’ The bracelet didn’t magically pop off in the night but L did smirk at it the next time they met, insisted on giving Light a foot massage and sucking each one of his toes, long fingers hooked in the metal loop as a twitching, warm reminder. _You’re mine and walk free at my pleasure._

_Asshole._ Light was just as ‘generous’ with the definition of terms of endearment, but that was simply a fact of their complicated relationship. It was more cerebral than intimate, more competitive than compassionate, more carnal than tender. That was fine by Light, he didn’t need the messiness of attachment anyway, and it wasn’t like he could actually be _seen_ liking men. 

No, this was an arrangement borne of convenience on both sides-- L agreed to pin all the Kira deaths on Higuchi and close the case, satisfying INTERPOL and getting the heat off of Light, while Light agreed to stay in Tokyo and be his supposedly non-murderous ‘friend.’ 

It had been a very odd conversation negotiating that-- Light both denying he was Kira while agreeing that the killings would stop with Higuchi. It was a promise he never intended to keep past whenever he could resume without L knowing, but the ankle bracelet made that pretty damn hard. L had stated very bluntly that he desired Light more than giving INTERPOL the real Kira, that he didn’t really care what Light had done as long as he stopped it now and didn’t make L look like a fool. The confident, self-serving declaration had made Light hard in his khakis, and he’d decided then and there he wanted to get inside more than just L’s mind and play more than just games of justice. He craved the dismantling of L, to pick at the man’s patchwork for the loose thread to unravel him, the smudged fingerprint proving human frailty. The world seemed less of a laurel than conquering this one man, but a god should have both. 

It seemed like they could both win, but L had so many conditions and precautions, not the least of which was this stupid tracking bracelet and a constant tail of all his activities. Light already had one spectator of his comings and goings (luckily Ryuk found this awkward arrangement and Light’s constantly pivoting discomfort and exhilaration quite amusing), he didn’t need another. Yet, still, it was kind and it was cruel and it worked for them somehow. The tighter L held onto his trappings of control over Light, the more it slipped away. Light had seen L Lawliet and not looked away, not backed down or even _changed_ , no more than was required to maintain his freedom.

As Light toed out of his shoes in the apartment entryway, it hit him again that something was wrong. It was too dark, even the nightlights L kept in the foyer and halls were gone. Plus, L was immediately all over him the minute he stepped through the door, tongue down his throat swallowing all ‘hellos,’ so this was highly unusual. “Ryuzaki?” He flipped the wall switch a few times but nothing happened.

He pulled out his phone to use as a flashlight, sighing, “What the hell.” He stepped into the hall and called out, “Is this your idea of a joke? Come on, where are you?” He tried another switch in the hall but that one didn’t work either. Had L cut the power to the whole place? “Did you send the car for me just to play hide and seek?”

He swung the dim light from his phone around as he drifted towards the kitchen counter, noticing glumly that nothing was there, not even the notepad. _Guess I’m not getting that textbook I asked for._ What gave L’s pettiness away was the softly humming refrigerator and that nearly made Light laugh. L wouldn’t let all his ice cream melt, after all. It meant that the detective must have intentionally shut off the light switches, likely using a smarthome app that Light didn’t even know about. But why? Either way, L was here.

“Alright, Ryuzaki, you’ve had your fun watching me bumble around in the dark.” Light poked his head into one of the bedrooms and the hall bathroom but L wasn’t in either. “I even stubbed my toe in the kitchen. It hurts very much.”

A sulky murmur came from somewhere in the apartment, “Light-kun did not stub his toe. He is lying again.”

Light followed the barely-audible mumble that seemed to be coming from the living room. “Are you watching me? Are there night-vision cameras in this place?” He suddenly had no doubt that there were-- or that L recorded and later re-watched their ‘activities’ in the darkness. Light always insisted they do it in the dark. 

As soon as he stepped into the living room, the overhead halogens came on, but dimly. L was crouched in an armchair in the corner, hands perched on his knees and face obscured by his long bangs and shadows. “Light-kun should know by now that I watch him at all times.” L reached out to shut a laptop in front of him, raising his wide grey eyes to Light.

Light swallowed as he pocketed his phone; L’s blank expression was disconcerting. _It’s how L acts when he’s angry._ He’d kept up his end of the bargain so far and not written any names, so Light wasn’t sure what this was about. “Is something wro--”

“Tomorrow is Misa Amane’s birthday.” The corners of L’s mouth pulled down as if he’d eaten something distasteful. He pointed to the plush couch opposite him, indicating for Light to sit.

Light cocked an eyebrow but arranged himself comfortably on the sofa opposite L, crossing his arms. He felt like he was on the defensive, like this was an interrogation. “Yes, that’s right.” Misa was always a very touchy subject with L, primarily because Light insisted that he needed to keep up the appearance of dating the girl. He didn’t want his image as the perfect son and student to be tarnished, and of course, unbeknownst to L, Rem still kept a vigilant eye over Misa and was ever-concerned about her happiness. It was hardly any effort to placate Misa, though, so it was easier for Light to just keep up the charade than deal with the potentially-lethal fallout of a breakup. A touch of irritation in his voice, “So what?”

L smiled slightly, but it didn’t reach his eyes, and his grip on his knees tightened. “And what did you get Miss Amane for her birthday?”

“Is this what you wanted me for tonight? You sent the car for me so we could talk about _Misa?_ ”

L shifted in his crouch, scratching at his chest. “Just answer the question, Light-kun.”

“I got her some….clothes.” Light had ordered her some expensive lingerie that he knew would keep her happy for a while and out of his hair. While it had seemed like an excellent idea at the time, he blushed faintly at the idea of having to explain that to L, and that he’d used L’s money to buy the present. “Just some clothes, Ryuzaki.” It technically wasn’t a lie.

L’s voice was deadpan. “Clothes.”

“Yes, that’s what I _said_.” Light felt irritation bubbling up. He didn’t like whatever game L was playing tonight. He shot back testily, “I thought I was coming over here for a blowjob, not the third degree.”

“Of course, how silly of me.” L slinked out of the chair, standing up in front of Light. “Let me just get undressed.” He yanked his shirt over his head and thrust his jeans down, balling up the clothing and throwing them at Light with a glower.

Light gaped up at L, barely registering the heap of clothing hitting him in the chest. His throat went dry and cheeks flushed as he realized that _L_ was wearing Misa’s present-- a strappy black satin thong and matching bra accented with small rose gold chains and bondage rings. The tip of L’s erection was poking above the panties, which had a gold zipper down the front which seemed an extension of the sparse line of black hair at his stomach. _He’s hard?!_ Light’s gaze roved over L’s body then snapped up to L’s smug face; he was speechless. L looked positively _obscene_ and incredibly sexy in the scandalous lingerie.

“Nothing to say, _Kira_?” L shuffled in a circle, a parody of ‘modeling’ the outfit. He frowned when Light said nothing and he pounced on the man, tackling him on the couch. 

Light yelped, falling flat on his back as L prowled above him. He knew L didn’t call him ‘Kira’ unless he was extremely angry, horny, or both, so needed to choose his words wisely. It didn’t help that his own pants were becoming increasingly tight, muddling his thoughts. 

“I thought you might like me better this way.” There was venom behind L’s words, the poison of the intense jealousy he’d felt ever since Aiber had intercepted that package and brought it to him. He’d been fooling himself, hadn’t he? That Light was just some felon-with-benefits he didn’t care about? Yes, that was a lie. That realization made L furious, even angrier than the knowledge that Light was still pretending to be straight, despite what they did in the dark here. “More like a woman? Like _Misa_?”

“I…I’m not...” Light huffed indignantly as he tried to squirm from under L but couldn’t budge. “I only bought that for her to shut her _up_ , L!” He smirked in satisfaction when using L’s real name made the man’s eye widen slightly. It was a line he didn’t often cross. “If I don’t keep her happy she’ll make trouble for me, for us! Why are you being such an ass about it?” His eyes kept straying from L’s face, stealing glimpses of pale skin compressed against satin and gold, lanky and sinewy. The wrongness of L in this outfit only made it so much more erotic.

“Oh? _I’m_ being an ass?” L pressed Light’s wrists to the couch cushions, searching his face for more lies. “And just how are you keeping her _happy_?” He couldn’t stand the thought that Light might be fucking someone else while playing the perfect little straight boy, especially not _Misa_. 

“She’s been making a big stink that she wanted something from that designer for her birthday. Why is this such a--” Suddenly, it hit Light _why_ L was acting like this. At first, he’d thought it was just about control, a sick prank to try and humiliate Light, but there was too much emotion on L’s face. “You’re jealous.” L’s features darkened and Light knew he was right. 

“Are you _fucking_ her?” L hated how his voice sounded, soft and plaintive. He wanted to yell it, to shake Light and remind him of their deal and everything he had compromised so they could be...whatever they were now. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He’d already done the one thing he didn’t want to happen --made a fool of himself-- but Light could pull surprising reactions from him.

“What?!” Light couldn’t help but laugh at how ludicrous that idea was, but when he gazed up into L’s eyes, he saw hurt and worry there. He smiled and said gently, “No, of course not. I don’t want her or anyone else for that matter. Isn’t it obvious I only want you?”

L stared at him, nostrils flaring as he waited for one of Light’s tells that he was lying. It didn’t come. _Shit._ He looked away, hiding his blush behind his hair as he released his grip on Light and moved into a crouch between Light’s legs. He really felt like a fool now. He chewed his thumb, murmuring, “I’m still angry at you for using my money to buy it for her. It’s too scandalous for a fake girlfriend.”

“I can’t help that I have good taste.” Light traced a finger down L’s stomach, following the line of hair under his navel. He whispered roughly, “If you’re so angry at me, then why are you hard in those panties?” 

L sulked as he felt the muscles of his stomach clench in response to Light’s touch. “Finding out I enjoy wearing lingerie had not been factored into my inquiry.”

“I’m sorry that I used your money. I should have just gotten her...a nice pair of socks or something.” Light laughed softly and fingered one of the delicate gold chains hanging from the lingerie. “But seeing it on you now, I’m not sorry I bought it.” He tugged at the chain, pulling the panties down a little and exposing more of L’s erection.

L looked from Light’s fingers to his face, as surprised by the man’s aroused expression as he was about the rare apology. “I...may have overreacted. I saw the outfit and assumed that you wanted...” He swallowed, adding, “...her.”

“And all the evidence you had that I _didn’t_ have any interest in Misa-- that just flew out the window, hmm? For eight months I’ve been coming here any time you wanted me, engaging in some very non-heterosexual activities, I might add.” Light grinned and stroked L’s leg, feeling the tension bleeding from the man’s muscles. 

“You don’t just...do that because of our deal?” It had been L’s worry from the start. Probably because he kept lying to himself that _he_ was only doing this for meaningless sex, he expected it to be the truth for Light. Light could have anyone he wanted. L could have anyone he bought.

He couldn’t breathe until Light finally shook his head emphatically.

“I wouldn’t have agreed to it if I didn’t _want_ to do it, L.” Light tugged at L’s leg, encouraging him to come closer. Seductively, “There was no deal when I kissed you in the To-Oh broom closet, was there?” He unbuttoned his shirt, parting the fabric to reveal his toned chest. “Or when you’d bribe Aiber to drive us around in the limo so we could grope each other in the backseat?” 

L let out a long breath, mesmerized by Light’s body and words. “I assumed you were trying to seduce me to create a conflict of interest.” He wanted to touch Light so, _so_ badly but self-control was all the pride he had left. “I hate that it worked.”

Light’s jaw twitched with L’s stabbed words and he looked away. “I didn’t…” It hurt because Light hadn’t meant for anything physical to happen with L and he especially hadn’t intended to develop...feelings for the man. By all rights, he should be furious about being kept like some dangerous pet, permitted only the length of the leash that could hang him if he stepped too far. It just kept _happening_ and neither could stop it. Despite their promises that _this_ was the last time, they still clanged back together like magnets whenever brought into proximity. “I did _not_ do that.” He turned fierce amber eyes to L, “I hate that that’s what you need it to be. Some trick I'm playing on you. So you can feel better about _this._ ” He yanked up his pants leg to expose the tracking bracelet, but L said nothing. 

He sat up angrily and moved his legs around L, standing up to gaze down at the man while he buttoned his shirt. “I’m going to get it sawed off tomorrow. Hell, maybe I’ll just go get a saw right now and do it myself.”

L bristled and said, “If you do that, you’ll be in breach of our agreement, Light.”

“So?” Light tossed his hair defiantly. “What are you going to do about it? Call up INTERPOL and tell them to re-open the case? On what grounds? You have zero evidence to _prove_ your wild claims.” He laughed bitterly. “No, you’d rather die than tell them you were wrong.” 

“I could re-open the case on my own. I don’t need INTERPOL or anyone else to believe me.” L stood up and followed Light towards the apartment door, inwardly panicking that Light _really_ might leave and this would be it. He clenched his fists and called down the hallway, “I know you’re Kira!”

Light stopped in the dark hallway and slowly turned his head over his shoulder. His first instinct was to scream, ‘ _YES!,’_ to air everything they’d kept hidden in the darkness between them. But he counted to five and swallowed the impulse. “How exactly do you know....” 

L walked closer to Light, step by slow step until he gripped the man’s arm and swung him around. “Because you aren’t jealous of how obsessed I am with Kira. You encourage it, _absorb_ it.” His grip tightened as Light half-heartedly pulled back. “If I wasn’t sure before, I am now. You _are_ Kira.”

Light sneered, “Why would I be jealous of a mass-murderer, as you call him?” He gasped as L pressed him to the wall, and he could see the whites of the man’s eyes this close, see the shadows glinting off gold chains on the lingerie L was _still_ wearing. 

L leaned closer to brush his lips against Light’s neck, breathing heavily. His murmur against Light’s skin was deep and rough, “Because I _crave_ him. Debase myself and pervert the name of L to keep him.” Long fingers twisted in the fabric of Light’s half-buttoned shirt, yanking it open again so he could smooth his hands across that perfect body. “Would do anything to keep him.”

Light shivered against L’s cold, cold hands, but it was sweet relief to feel them slinking up his stomach, toying with a nipple until it hardened. He pressed into the touch with a sigh, tilting his neck for L’s mouth to explore. _What fucking fools we are, caught on a carousel neither wants off of._ He closed his eyes and smiled as L unbuttoned his pants, whispering, “Then where’s my fucking textbooks?”

L snorted and then laughed against Light’s neck. His fingers found their way into Light’s hair, combing through it like petting something precious. “I might have spilled a pot of tea on them.” He met Light’s gaze with a wry smile and pushed Light’s pants off his hips. “Completely accidentally, of course.”

“Of course.” Light pulled L closer, licking and nipping at the man’s lips. L melted against him with a soft noise. “Perish the thought that L would do something so petty deliberately.” His hand roamed over L’s nearly-naked body, slipping beneath the tight straps of the thong. 

L panted, “You know I’m a _saint_.” He leaned hard into Light, grabbing the man and crashing into his mouth. _Pride and self-control are overrated._ When he felt Light instantly respond, he pulled back with a shuddering breath and grabbed the man’s hand to try and lead him to the bedroom. Softly, almost growled, “Light... _please_.”

There were snapshots of Light’s life that he would always remember and this was one-- L, bright-eyed and pretending not to be vulnerable, softly holding his hand in the dark and _asking_ for him, for Light the human and Kira the god, to come to bed. And he knew then there was nothing L wouldn’t give him to stay, that this was a power so deep and wide that Light could abuse it to pieces, run it into the ground until it was threadbare and ragged and still, _still_ , L would give. L would pout and spill tea, rage and snipe, but in the dark, when they were like this, L would say _please._ It was the moment he knew he couldn’t leave, not for good and not ever. L had more of a hold on him than any metal around his ankle. “Alright, L. I’ll stay.”

Light allowed himself to be quickly tugged into the bedroom, frantically kissed and backed towards the bed. The last of his clothes were yanked away with fumbling, twitching fingers and he was left splayed out on his back, bathed in moonlight. L leaned back on his knees, reaching to take off the lingerie when Light stopped him. “ _No_. I want you to leave it on.” He scooted back against the headboard, spreading his legs with a slight smirk of kiss-swollen lips. His hair was mussed from its usual perfection, bangs half hanging in his eyes as he looked up at L. A whisper, “Leave it on the whole time you fuck me.”

L’s eyes went wide and his body visibly twitched, a tic of overexcitement that might embarrass him in front of anyone else but Light. A smile spread across his face as he pulled down the front of the panties to free his aching erection. “If Kira likes.” 

“Kira does.” Light licked his lips and reached to stroke L’s cock, thumbing over the wet head to make L moan. “You look _obscenely_ hot.”

L prowled up Light’s body, savagely kissing the man as he rummaged for lube beneath the pillows. Light’s fingers tugging and playing with the lines of the lingerie, teasing under the edge of the thong and stroking his cock made him whine into the kiss and nearly forget what he was looking for until he touched the bottle. He pulled back and popped the top with trembling fingers, messily slicking his whole hand because it was faster. He tightly fisted Light’s cock, staring into the man’s eyes to watch pupils dilate, lips part. 

Light arched into L’s hand, letting his head fall back into the pillows as a finger slipped inside to stroke him open. L always went straight for the kill, going right for Light’s prostate. “ _F-fuck!”_ He instinctively spread his legs wider and rolled his hips down, closing his eyes as L’s expert fingers rubbed methodically but insistently. They’d both learned so much since those first fumbling nights together, memorized every place that made the other gasp, the pressure, the speed, could anticipate the moment when it was all about to come crashing down. 

L grinned, gratified to see Light squirming and fisting the sheets as he added another finger. “Is Kira sure that he wouldn’t rather it be Misa doing this?”

Light laughed and shot L a playful glare, hissing, “Stop pretending like you think I could ever be attracted to someone else.” _Bastard._ He grabbed L’s wrist to speed his fingers. “There’s only ever been you…” 

L’s breathing sped as he added a third finger, almost wheezing with each exhale. Everything about this, _them_ , was both wrong and exactly, perfectly what he wanted. “Keep lying to me.” He slowly pulled his fingers away and lifted one of Light’s legs over his shoulder as he pressed in, and Light was grasping at him desperately, tugging him into a kiss and mumbling curses against his lips. _Yes, say it._ They were both cursed but it bound them, sickened and cured them as they moved together. 

“I’m going to paint that outfit with my cum.” Light’s nails tore the sheer fabric of the lingerie and L eyes tore into Light’s, finding the hole in Light’s mind he needed to reach and slot into. “ _Ruin_ it for anyone else.” 

A new position, a new angle, Light pressed face-down to the bed or grasping the headboard and riding L. Light knew when to clench and nearly drive L over the edge, when to bite his shoulder and praise him when he thrust home, when to whisper _‘maybe you’re right...maybe you’re fucking Kira right now,’_ so that L would speed up, thrust erratically, make so much noise that Light would cover L’s mouth when he came. 

There used to be awkwardness and shame in the sticky, tangled moments afterward, but that had long faded into something more comfortable. Light couldn’t help but laugh at the mess he’d made of L’s lingerie-- wet and dotted with tears in the mesh and half the chains ripped from being grabbed in their passion. He laughed quietly as he settled into L’s arms and kissed L tenderly. “I guess it’s yours now. But maybe you should get a new one.”

“Mmm. I’ll buy the entire collection if you’d like to see me in it.” L pulled Light closer, rubbing his cheek against silky hair. “I’ll buy you new textbooks, too.”

“And what am I supposed to give Misa for her birthday tomorrow?”

“You could still give her this outfit. Say it's from the both of us.” L grinned deviously when Light looked up, wide-eyed. “I’m _kidding,_ Light.” He yawned and stroked Light’s back, “Just stuff some cash into this.” He reached over to the nightstand and handed Light a cheap-looking card. “Who doesn’t like getting cash?”

Light took the card and immediately made a face. “L...this is a ‘get well soon’ card.” He sputtered a laugh and flicked the card across the room. “You really want me dead, don’t you?”

Deadpan, “No.” L held Light tightly. “I really don’t.” 

L stayed awake far past the point where Light had fallen into untroubled dreams. He laid awake nearly until dawn, to the witching hour when all the world was asleep and wouldn’t judge the World’s Greatest Detective for slipping up, slipping away to crouch at Kira’s feet and silently turn the key to unlock the ankle bracelet. 

**Author's Note:**

> The lingerie in question: https://us.honeybirdette.com/collections/thongs/products/kukuro-black-thong?variant=18460254044256
> 
> Thanks so much to main-exam who let me bounce ideas off of her for this fic! <3
> 
> Originally written for Deathnotetober 2020 on tumblr (prompt Model).  
> Come check us out on tumblr!  
> ZJ: @kiranatrix  
> Sketchyspirit: @sketchyspirit


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